Rob Crawford is a proud hockey dad of five children. He also is director of development at Fay School in Southborough, Mass., vice president of Red Sox Nation and a member of the Yawkey Baseball League of Boston’s Hall of Fame.
As a child, I acquired a pure and deep love for sports. During those early years, I developed my mediocre athletic abilities to their highest possible level, and I had fun and continued to dream every step of the way. As a parent, I have taken deliberate steps to provide my five children with the same opportunity. Now, as I look back upon my first 18 years of parenting, I realize I have become an expert at nurturing a passion for sports in kids. I could write a book on the topic, but in this limited space, I’ll share my top three tips.
Before we begin, two caveats: First, not all children are inclined to love sports, and a child who is apathetic about sports will be completely unaffected by the tips below; he will wonder why you are wasting his time. (That said, these guidelines can be adapted to fit any interest, such as music, or computers, or reading.) And second, I do not profess to be an authority on "how to raise a star athlete." My expertise lies in fostering enthusiasm for sports once the tiny flame of interest has been kindled in early childhood.
Set up convenient play spaces
When kids have the impulse to practice a sport, there needs to be a place for them to fulfill that impulse — or they won’t do it. If obstacles to playing exist, kids often will just find something else to do. This is the magic of the backyard rink; the hoop in the driveway; the pitch-back in the yard; the goal in the garage; or even the field, court or frozen pond just down the street. Not only does easy access to suitable play spaces (along with appropriate equipment) remove hurdles when the urge to play sports arises, just seeing these spaces ignites the urge.
The house where I grew up had a 5-foot-high concrete wall next to the driveway, and I threw a baseball against that wall (and fielded grounders when the ball bounced back) every day throughout my childhood, even in the winter. Just for the fun of it. Without this concrete wall and the throwing habit it produced, I doubt that I would have pitched in high school, college and beyond. Likewise, I am certain that none of my children would be playing hockey today if their hockey lives hadn’t begun with the delirious freedom afforded by our backyard rink.
Never say ‘no’ or ‘not now’ when your kid asks you to play
Young kids love sports not just because playing is fun, but because playing often involves mom or dad, and that’s magnificent fun. (Unless the parent ruins the fun by making playing episodes overly instructional or competitive, or by making it clear with their body language that they’d rather be doing something else.) As a rule, the more mom or dad is available to play (with undivided attention), the more the young athlete will want to play, and will ask the parent to play — and the more the child will learn to love to play.
When my 18-year-old son Robert was little, I made a commitment to myself: I would never say "no" or "not now" whenever he asked me to play catch, or shoot hoops, or kick a soccer ball, or play street hockey. This commitment was partially inspired by the second verse of Harry Chapin’s poignant song "Cat’s In The Cradle":
My son turned ten just the other day
He said thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that’s okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
It said, I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him
Of course, there were times when Robert would ask, "Wanna play catch?" or "Wanna play shootout?" and I’d have something else to do (important or not) or I wouldn’t feel like playing. But then the lyrics of that song would echo in my head and I’d always reply, "Sure, let’s go!" with a smile. Looking back on those years, I know that this commitment to being on call for Robert’s athletic whims was crucial. If I’d started to make "no" or "not now" a habit, he would’ve stopped asking … and his love for sports wouldn’t be what it is today. (With my younger children, such a commitment hasn’t been as essential. They often ask Robert to play sports with them, and he always says "Yes!")
Take your kids to watch high school, college or professional games
When young kids are totally absorbed in their athletic play, they are usually imagining themselves (and sometimes their playpartner) as one of the grown-up athletes they have seen play in person, or on TV. Beginning hockey players pretend to be Sidney Crosby or Angela Ruggiero; young teeball players fantasize that they’re Mookie Betts or Mike Trout; and novice tennis players see themselves as Serena Williams or Rafael Nadal. (Kids also will pretend to be specific college or high school players, if these are the athletes they watch.) Imagining themselves as these compelling, exciting models of athletic prowess injects youngsters’ playtime with a special kind of purpose and vigor. But in order to become admired athletes in their imaginations, kids must be exposed to these athletes frequently enough to become their fans. And seeing an athlete play brilliantly in person is the fastest way to make a kid fall in love with a player and his/her style.
Watching sports regularly from the stands or from the couch also exposes kids to the pure excitement of a given sport, helps them understand the nuances of the game, and shows them how it’s played by experienced players. Kids who catch the "sports bug" at a young age soon discover that going to games and watching sports on TV provide everlasting fuel for their sports passion. My children’s love for hockey, baseball and basketball has been boosted by our family’s frequent attendance at Harvard hockey and basketball games (affordable entertainment within easy driving distance!), and from the Bruins, Celtics and Red Sox games that are beamed into our family room nightly (on school nights, only sports may be watched on TV, that’s the rule in our house!).
So there you are — my top three recommendations for how to raise a kid who loves sports. If you’ve got a little sports nut in your house, I urge you to consider: 1. Is there any way you can create more accessible, appealing spaces for athletic activities that beckon your kids to play? 2. Will you commit to saying "Sure, let’s go!" a lot more frequently when your child asks you to play sports with him or her? 3. Will you print out the schedules of your local high school and college teams and take your kids to three times as many games as you did last year? Go for it, mom and dad! Satisfaction guaranteed — for the whole family!
